Giving Thanks

One of the hardest thing fos ffdx ir the DP to muster up is a sense of thanx, especially for the hardcore among us whose joints creak a little louder and whose shoes seem a bit thinner with every day that passes. the pinprick in the tent is now a certifiable hole. The temperature is dropping and the ground stays wetter for longer. That cough comes from a deeper place in the lungs. You drink a little more and stay high a little longer. Sleep is fitful and leaves you more tired than you were when you laid it down. You spend the whole dream running when you dream at all . It is Minds' way of fending off those thoughts of mortality.

You wonder about the ones you haven't seen in a while. Is Mr Charlie K still in that hollowed out abandoned house on the south side? Is he shivering as the night rides in on thirty degree wings. How 'bout old Fox? He ain't strong and he ain't got no hustle he may be better off in the county. How 'bout Big Tim who never talks but everybody knows. You ought to go 'cross the river tomorrow and see if there's any smoke coming from his camp. He won't say anything, but he'll grunt to acknowledge your existence. You make thirty seconds of small talk about the weather and leave. Let him know someone's thinking of him.

If you know me, then you know that I count every day as a blessing. Just keep getting up I say. But then, my bones don't ache from where they healed wrong and didn't have insurance to get 'em set right. Keep getting up. Things'll be better. But I haven't been off my meds for a month since I got locked up for not moving fast enough to suit that rookie with a badge and it'll take 3 months to get my check started again (they cut it off when you're arrested you know). Keep getting up, I say. Things'll get better. But I didn't cop to a sexual assault charge (with a prostitute who stole my wallet while my pants were down 'round my ankles) just to go home after 6 months in Dirty County Jail. I didn't find there was no home after registering as a sex offender. I'm not prohibited from visiting momma cause she lives too close to the school house. my record doesn't keep me from getting into a shelter for a hot shower and a rack.

I still give thanks because I have things to be thankful for. I still think life is preparation waiting on opportunity. I'm optimistic about taking the next step, making the next move and drawing the next breath.

Keep Getting up I say. Things'll get better I say. I believe it when I say it. I just can't prove it.